Unlike in-person bullying, cyberbullying can reach a victim anywhere, at any moment. It can cause profound harm, as it can quickly reach a wide audience and leave a permanent footprint online for all involved. Your child has the right to a safe, nurturing school environment that respects their dignity. The Convention on the Rights of the Child states that all children have the right to an education, and protection from all forms of physical or mental violence, injury or abuse.
Bullying is no exception. The first step to keeping your child safe, whether in-person or online, is making sure they know the issue. If you know your child is being bullied, there are several steps you can take to help them:. Children who bully often just want to fit in, need attention or are simply figuring out how to deal with complicated emotions. In some cases, bullies are themselves victims or witnesses to violence at home or in their community.
There are several steps you should take to help your child stop bullying:. In addition to being a support system to your child, you can work with your school and even your local or national decision-makers and local leaders to change policies to prevent and address bullying. Learn more:. Young people set out how to end violence in schools.
For far too many students around the world, violence has become an everyday lesson, but together we can change the situation. Here are some tips on how to start a conversation with your children:. Understanding the basics. What is bullying? Why should I intervene if my child is being bullied? Starting with prevention. Educate your children about bullying.
Once they know what bullying is, your children will be able to identify it more easily, whether it is happening to them or someone else. At school, these students go that extra mile on schoolwork. Or they learn very quickly and move through projects and assignments faster than other students. For instance, gifted students are often targeted for excelling in school.
Bullies usually single them out because they are jealous of this attention. Children who are introverted, anxious, or submissive are more likely to be bullied than kids who are extroverted and assertive. In fact, some researchers believe that kids who lack self-esteem may attract kids who are prone to bully.
What's more, kids who engage in people-pleasing are often targeted by bullies because they are easy to manipulate. Research shows that kids suffering from depression or stress-related conditions may also be more likely to be bullied, which often makes the condition worse. Bullies select these kids because they are an easy mark and less likely to fight back. Most bullies want to feel powerful, so they often choose kids that are weaker than them.
Many victims of bullying tend to have fewer friends than children who do not experience bullying. They may be rejected by their peers, excluded from social events , and may even spend lunch and recess alone. Parents and teachers can prevent bullying of socially isolated students by helping them develop friendships. Bystanders can also support these students by befriending them. Research shows that if a child has at least one friend, their chances of being bullied reduce dramatically.
Without a friend to back them up, these kids are more likely to be targeted by bullies because they do not have to worry about someone coming to the victim's aid. Sometimes bullies target popular or well-liked children because of the threat they pose to the bully. Mean girls are especially likely to target someone who threatens their popularity or social standing. A lot of relational aggression is directly linked to an attempt to climb the social ladder.
Kids will spread rumors, engage in name-calling, and even resort to cyberbullying in an effort to destroy their popularity. Almost any type of physical characteristic that is different or unique can attract the attention of bullies. It may be that the victim is short, tall, thin, or obese.
They might wear glasses or have acne, a large nose, or ears that stick out. It really doesn't matter what it is, the bully will pick a feature and distort it into a target. Many times, this type of bullying is extremely painful and damaging to a young person's self-esteem. Most bullies who target these kids get some enjoyment from making fun of others. Other times, they are looking for a laugh at another person's expense.
The best way to combat a bully who targets this type of person is to take away their audience. Bullies often target special needs children. Kids with food allergies, asthma, and other conditions also can be targeted by bullies.
When this happens, the bullies show a lack of empathy or are making jokes at another person's expense. It is very important for teachers and parents to make sure these kids have a support group with them to help defend against bullying. It also helps if the general student population frowns on this type of bullying in particular. Kids who are bullied themselves, whether at home or at school, often become bullies too.
If you hear that your child is being a bully, start by talking to your child. Can you tell me what happened? Kids who bully may have underlying emotional challenges. Next, get specific about what you want to see instead. For example, if your child excludes other kids, let them know that you expect them to say yes when others ask to play with them. Treating each other with respect and kindness sets a good example for kids.
Making amends with other kids can also be a helpful consequence, like a written apology or doing something nice for the person they hurt. Finally, be sure to keep an open, loving line of communication with your child. Ask open-ended questions about their life and take time to listen. Gina, the mother of a year-old boy, got a disconcerting phone call from his school. A student had complained that her son was bullying him.
After looking into the matter, the school staff concluded that her child had been tormenting a number of his classmates with name-calling, physical violence, and even sexual harassment. No parent wants to hear that her child is a bully. But bullying is also a serious issue for the aggressor. If your child is said to be engaging in bullying behaviors—whether physical or verbal—it might be a sign of serious distress.
He might be experiencing anxiety or depression , and have difficulty regulating his emotions and behavior. They can be nice kids who have made some mistakes. Here are a few:. Here are some tips for ensuring that your child fosters respectful relationships with her peers.
He thinks my son has excellent potential, but needs to get mentally tough. It's a hard sport to play when you have anxiety. I'm afraid my son is going to be broken and unable to grow into a healthy adult. I was bullied as a kid and it's something that you always remember. I don't want to home school my son, but I don't see the school doing anything to prevent or stop it.
The school counselor told my sons therapist that the kids bully my son because of the way he acts. Really we blame the victims now? At what point do we blame the crappy parents of the bullies? A week ago my son and his girlfriend received sexually explicit notes while in their last class of the day. She got mad and tore them up. I reported it to the principal, but without the actual evidence, even though there were other witnesses to it, the principal did nothing.
Personally I can understand why some kids go off their rocker and take weapons to school. My son has no access to weapons, and as he is pretty nonviolent normally it's down the list of things I fear from him, but I can certainly see how kids get broken enough to do something like that.
I council my son to constantly ignore these kids. Don't ever respond. He will at times, but I will continue to remind him not to. The problem is that these kids will badger any friends he has to the point that they won't associate with him anymore. Today my son sat alone because nobody would allow him at their table. They are increasing his isolation and the school doesn't discourage them from doing it.
Every time I question them I hear that they didn't see anything. Since they know there is an issue maybe they should open their eyes. The problem with ignoring is that bullies get pissed when they don't get a reaction and become violent. And when that happens, even with clear video evidence, the kid that is getting bullied my then have the school protecting the bullies. My Daughter 7 years old has been not wanting to go to school all week , making excuses like she is sick, her foot hurts ect.
Thursday morning she told me that no one will play with her , I asked what do you mean , tell me what happens when you ask to play with someone. She said they run away from her because a girl E a grade older than her, and I take care of her after school told them not to be my friend. I said " oh.. Well why do you think she would do that? This girl E is never mean to my daughter In front of me , so this came as a shock. Thursday I dropped my daughter off at cheer and took E and her sister back to my house.
I didn't say anything to E because I wanted to talk to her mom first. Then both of us talk to the girls to figure out what is going on. We got home from Cheer and my daughter found a note from E in her room addressed to her. It said Avi is dead , Avi you are mean , I hate you.
A pic tux of my daughter that was drawn , big x over it and scribbled out. So I asked her " why do you think she would do this? She got really mad at me.. I said I was sorry. She has been ruining my life all week mom". I tried to talk to E 's mom , I showed her the pictures.
But feels that her daughter is always getting blamed for things at school and now at daycare. I feel lost , should I take this to the school? I just feel there is a deeper issue with E. You can. Best of luck to you. My daughter is 5 years old and for about a month she has been coming home saying she doesn't want to go to school anymore.
I brushed it off because I thought she just didn't like getting up early or just wanted to stay home. Then I asked her one day why she didn't want to go and she told me she didn't want to go because of these two boys who push her and don't want to be her friend.. Because my daughter doesn't even no what the middle finger is or what it means.
My baby is such a shy sweet little girl who has such a big heart. When I asked her "what do you want mommy" she answered me with "nothing mommy the're my friends. She even came home crying saying that they told her they don't like her and don't want to be her friend. I'm soo at a lost here because she really likes this school and I'm just scared that what if one time they push her hard enough to where she gets really hurt.
I don't want my daughter to feel like she doesn't want to go to school anymore, I just want her to be happy and safe that's all. I hope you find the information helpful. Be sure to check back. As you can see. We wish you and. Responses to questions posted on EmpoweringParents.
We cannot diagnose disorders or offer recommendations on which treatment plan is best for your family. Please seek the support of local resources as needed. If you need immediate assistance, or if you and your family are in crisis, please contact a qualified mental health provider in your area, or contact your statewide crisis hotline. We value your opinions and encourage you to add your comments to this discussion. We ask that you refrain from discussing topics of a political or religious nature.
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